Monday, April 7, 2008

"You never know what will be coming down..."

Well, I always knew this would happen. I got a call tonight from my brother's old girlfriend - his only real girlfriend his whole life and one true love until he died. She'd found my number on the internet and was looking for him. Four Fucking Years too late.
He'd been looking for her too. He wanted more than anything to talk to her before he died. The numbers he had were no good & he couldn't remember her sister's last name; he had those brain tumors. I certainly didn't, I don't know that I ever knew it. Mom, actually, might have. But if she did, she sure wasn't telling; she freaked out & lost it when he asked her. She always had a passionate and considerably irrational hatred of Kim.

What a fucking waste.

Actually, I hated her too, though not as bitterly as Nadine. She used Sean & broke his fragile little heart. But I was able to be kind to her when she told me that she thinks about him all the time and to tell her that he was thinking of her too. I hope it helped. I think she did really love him, in her own limited way. Well, she can't help it, she's a damn Scorpio.

I found this song on a CD he made for me a few months before he died. Hard to believe it's been four years; tonight it feels like it was only last week. For you, honey, wherever you are...and for Kim, too:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IU1rZa8Ur_Q

I miss you, Sean. Godspeed.